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Benefits of isolation

I went into semi lock down just after Christmas, before all this hit.

Things just moved out of my life to give me space for deep healing. As a self proclaimed co-dependent ive always been afraid of being alone but I took this as a challenge.

Being in solitude has taught me a lot –

firstly I realised I really enjoyed it! How fascinating to realise you enjoy something you have been scared of and running away from your whole life! So liberating!

I wanted to get into touch with my intuition and inner voice so I took time off from people, social media and books etc for 24 hours. Id notice a pattern of feeling fine, then bad, then I’d release a stored emotion and then feel fine again, pretty much like what happens in every day life except you have all your responsibilities to deal with on top of this.

With solitude there was just clear space to witness this process of inner release.

I also had full attention for great ideas to surface within me. (Im always down loading ideas to the point its weird when Im not)
Anyway, the universe literally created space for me to go deep – to heal and let go of things I had been carrying for a life time so they weren’t weighing me down any more and to let me move to the next level.

I know I’m on an important global healing mission but I cannot uplevel until I’m strong enough to handle it.

That’s means letting go of a lot of shit that’s not serving me, and a disempowered identity ive been holding on too way too long.
I started to understand who I am at a core, and why my so called ‘perfect’ life – husband, house, kids literally exploded out from under my nose a few years ago.

It was time to move on.

Its time to move on people, time to heal, time to uplevel.

Time to exist in a more enlightened planet. Lets explode through the old paradigm of patriarchy and scarcity.

Its time for a global healing revolution.

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WE ARE LIVING IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING TIMES IN HUMAN HISTORY

ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING TIMES IN HUMAN HISTORY?

Just have a look backwards – women have been oppressed, beaten raped tortured medicated and locked up for thousands of years – treated like shit and then labelled as crazy.Myself included – this stuff has been going on for ages and its still going on.

BUT this is one of the most exciting times in human history- we are in a healthcare revolution and an information age – which provides an opportunity for women to rise back to full power.

Society is developing better and better treatments for mental health issues, having less tolerance for violence against women, and taking us way more seriously when we say we have been harrassed or violated.

The internet has helped us have a voice. To reach and teach each other.

We have an opportunity to live our fullest lives free from oppression and abuse. its happening! the feminine is rising. That means YOU!!

The ground is fertile – you are ready. All we needy to do is remove the negative programming that has kept us small and robbed us of our amazing and beautiful powers.

My role is to help you remove that programming, to get you in the right mindset to live your fullest life.

I have been chosen as a leader of this movement.

Let me help you You are ready and you are worth it

EMAIL ME OR BOOK A TIME WITH ME me for more info on how to wok together to live your best life. We have been waiting thousands of years for this opportunity. The time is NOW.

BOOK NOW!

I adore the feminine..

I adore the feminine…

This is why i do this work…

Because the feminine is so fun, sexy, erotic, wild, beautiful and free..

I want to see more women stepping into this, because its who we are at our core…

We have just forgotten so

Lets remember..

That deep down we long to be wild…

not stuck in a house, office or kitchen all the time..

nor on the computer…

But running through hills, dancing til dawn, picking flowers,singing dancing, loving til it hurts…

We are so full of love

I encourage you to let her out

your inner wild woman

what does she need?

to cry? to dance? to hug?

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Don’t miss my high vibe Facebook community  more tools and information  click here: Perfectionism Beaters 

Or download my free e-book The top 3 reasons professional women are perfectionistic anxious and burntout!! Free-Ebook

Download Ebook Now! (1209 downloads)

Or if you want to go deeper you can book a one on one  here

Book a one on one

or check out my Perfectionism Buster Program: Perfectionism Buster Program

Or if you wish to donate to my fundraiser to help beat the perfectionism epidemic click here:

Beat the Perfectionism Epidemic Donate Now!

Honor Jane Newman

Psychologist and Author

honor@honornewman.com

www.honornewman.com

Read more

Honor Talks to radio host Toni Lontis about perfectionism and well-being

https://www.iheart.com/podcast/209-radio-toni-31175298/

Radio Toni

Don’t miss my high vibe Facebook community  more tools and information  click here: Perfectionism Beaters 

Or download my free e-book The top 3 reasons professional women are perfectionistic anxious and burntout!! Free-Ebook

Download Ebook Now! (1209 downloads)

Or if you want to go deeper you can book a one on one  here

Book a one on one

or check out my Perfectionism Buster Program: Perfectionism Buster Program

Honor Jane Newman

Psychologist and Author

honor@honornewman.com

www.honornewman.com

Read more

I had a dream last night I want to tell you about…

I had a dream last night I want to tell you about.

You see I’ve found this personal development course that i really, desperately want to do next year.

But it costs a lot for me.

I know its what I need and will help me move forward in life.

But I’m struggling to make the commitment and to put myself as a priority over all those bills I have..

but i’m going to find the money, I’m going to find a way

the dream was that i was going to miss out on a spot int his course and i scrambled through all my piles of money and scraped it together just. in. time.

It was terrifying to hand over all that money.

but even more scary was staying stuck where I am for an indefinite amount of time.

That would suck.

So i will trust that i;m in and everything will be ok.

because i need this.

I wanted to share this because as women we can really struggle to make our needs a priority. Even when we hear the siren call. And our heart strings yearning out for something on our journey.

This course is about taking my self esteem to the next level. The one thing holing me back.

I created this space because i wanted women to have a private space to share anything. Its important to have space away from the opposite sex. Just as they need time away from us.

Anyway – what finally made me say YES to this commitment to myself?

Its because I view my personal and spiritual needs as just as important as food shelter air and water.

Rather be homeless and happy than suicidal in a mansion.

Hopefully not that extreme but you get what I mean…

So – I’m gonna Do this!!!!

Even though its terrifying, its an investment in me and my well being. Say yes felt like falling anxiously into the unknown the question in my mind being – will i fail or soar?

but i owe it to myself to try and make things better for me. I’m worth it.

Ive been through too much to let myself down by saying no.

It will help me to be more successful and happier but i have to be willing to take the risk – that leap of faith.

I’m excited.

the more i heal the more life just gets better and better.

What about you?

Image may contain: one or more people, people standing, mountain, sky, ocean, outdoor, nature and water

Don’t miss my high vibe Facebook community  more tools and information  click here: Perfectionism Beaters 

Or download my free e-book The top 3 reasons professional women are perfectionistic anxious and burntout!! Free-Ebook

Download Ebook Now! (1209 downloads)

Or if you want to go deeper you can book a one on one  here

Book a one on one

or check out my Perfectionism Buster Program: Perfectionism Buster Program

Honor Jane Newman

Psychologist and Author

honor@honornewman.com

www.honornewman.com

Write a comment…
 

Would you like to improve your financial situation?

Many of us struggle with money. It  helps to realise it’s a relationship.  You can talk to money, write it a letter.  Say how you feel about it, repair your relationship with it.

 

Dear Money,

I’ve been feeling a bit abandoned by you lately.

Have I blocked you?

Have I given you mixed messages? I so, I’m sorry.

I’ve had some issues.

I’m working on myself so we can have a better relationship.

Because it would be great to have consistency together, and to support each other to soar to greater and greater heights.

I see you love me and want to support me.

I get scare when you are not around sometimes.

I need to understand you don’t abandon me, its just that sometimes I block you.

Because in interpret the times you flow back as abandonment and I feel hurt and rejected.

I need to understand that you are always there, even if you move back for these short periods.

I need to trust this, its flow like the tide, forward and backward, not abandonment.

You never really leave.

Thank you for everything you ever provided me.

I trust you will always be there I just need to allow you in fully.

It can feel really scary.

So I’ll wait and trust and be happy and enjoy you coming to me and receive you with love an gratitude.

Thank you,

Do you put your own needs after every one elses?

Have you ever heard of the burnt chop syndrome? It’s based on the  on the metaphor that if there are three good pieces of meat and one burnt one the person with the burnt chop syndrome will give the others the best bits of meat and keep the burnt one for herself every time. This is a metaphor for how many women operate in all areas of their lives. In other words, they often make themselves the lowest priority the majority of the time. Reality check! We are now grown women and if we don’t look after ourselves no one else will. Our health and happiness will suffer. We have physical emotional and spiritual needs that must be met. We must build a friendship with ourselves ad attempt to fulfill our needs so we can have fulfilled lives.

Women will often make themselves the lowest priority the majority of the time. This is recipe (no pun intended) for burn-out.  This was definitely the case for me.

After about 10 years of saying yes to every single thing that people asked me to do my health really started to fail.  I became chronically tired and even struggled for energy on my wedding day.

I knew I had to do something different or I was going to develop permanent chronic fatigue syndrome. So I went on health kick and basically became a health food shop junkie – trying out every health food on the market. I decided to become vegan also.

Improving my diet made a huge difference but it wasn’t quite enough on its own to fully restore my health.  I also needed to change mentally.

As I said when I was really struggling in life I’d always put everyone else’s needs before my own. If someone asked me to do something for them, I would automatically make this top priority on my list, even if my own health and well-being needed attention. This was due to insecurity and a desperate to be liked by everyone.

However, this was a deadly habit that really contributed to the level of burnout I found myself at. The reason I found it hard to say no was because I could not stand the guilt I’d feel at the disappointment of others. But,

I needed to learn to care for my own health and needs before I helped others.  I needed to realise that disappointment is a normal part of life and we all need to let people down at certain times.

When I finally started saying no to things and started staying home from some events when I was particularly tired and saw what a difference it made to my health, I began to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

My energy crisis made me realize I had to change how I lived.  I knew I had to learn to speak up when I felt my rights had been disrespected or I’d simmer away with resentment and that affected both my health and happiness.  I knew I had to learn to say no more and I knew I had to look after me better. So I did and that is when everything started to improve.

So what about you? Do you have some lifestyle habits that aren’t serving you? Are you ready to change them?

If you like this article please share it and stayed tuned for the rest of the article and vids in the series. For ones you may have missed please visit honornewman.com/blog.

 

 

How we often wearing a mask that all is well when it is not

For fear of being judged by others women often put on a mask that says to the world that everything  is going brilliantly when inside they are suffering and sometimes to a serious degree. They are afraid that when people see who they truly are they will reject or abandon them. They also fear judgement, when really they are their own harshest critic. This is a true tragedy as a woman’s biggest strength is her vulnerability. This is how she connects on a deep emotional level with others and where true intimacy can occur.

Wearing these masks can be isolating.  Let me tell you a story about Ms Perfectionism.  Ms Perfectionism lived in this beautiful house that was neat and clean and decorated lovingly. She was always welcoming to her guests and had freshly baked cookies ready and waiting whenever they visited.  Her friends all loved her, as she always had a listening ear for them and was always so well frankly ‘nice’. However sometimes, when Ms Perfectionism had had a friend for a longer period of time for some inexplicable reason to the friend, they would become frustrated with her.  And feel resentful and jealous which felt really out of character for them.  What was happening to these friends was that they were subconsciously reacting to the things going on under the surface with her friend. They were feeling beneath her mask and into her deep insecurities about needing to be liked and accepted and flawless and they were actually finding it frustrating to not be able to get behind these defences. They were also on a level tricked into thinking her life was flawless and finding it hard to be friends with someone without any seeming vulnerability- which is the level that we connect on for intimacy.

You see if you are wearing this perfect mask all the time you can’t let anyone in! Yes it protects you, like a huge wall, it makes you lonely. Self-acceptance is required so you can allow yourself to be flawed, knowing that you are still amazing.

Love Honor xx

If you like this article please share it and stayed tuned for the rest of the article and vids in the series. For ones you may have missed please visit honornewman.com/blog.

 

 

 

Do you repress their voice and bottling up distress?

I’ve written a lot about assertiveness and this is because it is such a big issue in our culture especially for women. There are so few of us that seem to be able to be effectively assertive in our relationships and this creates a lot of problems. Assertiveness is about being able to set boundaries, say no and talk through conflict in a healthy way. I hear a lot about from women about how they are struggling to speak up for themselves in life especially with a difficult person or bully, often a family member that cannot be dealt with through pure avoidance.

So why do we struggle with this as women?

Well there are a few reasons. One is how we have been socialised – to be peace keepers, to please everyone and to keep them happy. And if we don’t fulfil this role we are risked being shamed as a ‘bitch’.

The other reason I think may be due to our feminine nature which can communicate quite indirectly as opposed to masculine bluntness/directness.  This means sometimes our communication can be too subtle for some people to recognise.  So we need to learn in some situations (especially with men!) to communicate in a more blunt and direct way to get our point across.

However to be assertive we first need to understand what we want. This requires us to listen to our own needs, wants and emotions. Things we can often bury in busyness and looking after everyone else.  It requires some time and quiet reflection and some self -acceptance of – yes I feel this or I want that, and that’s ok!!!

Being assertive will improve your inner strength and self-confidence (and health) because you make a conscious choice about how you are going to respond to a person or situation, either verbally or through actions, rather than being at the mercy of your own annoyance.

If you like this article please share it and stayed tuned for the rest of the article and vids in the series. For ones you may have missed please visit honornewman.com/blog.

Love Honor xx

Benefits of isolation

I went into semi lock down just after Christmas, before all this hit. Things just moved out of my life to give me space for …

WE ARE LIVING IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING TIMES IN HUMAN HISTORY

ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING TIMES IN HUMAN HISTORY? Just have a look backwards – …

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