As you probably know I’ve been writing blogs on perfectionism for a while now. Last year my daughter who is now 8 years old was having some issues at school and perfectionism was raised as a cause for some of her meltdowns. She has to go and see the school art therapist for a while. During this time I immediately went into failure mode thinking oh I can’t even stop my daughter getting perfectionism when I’m supposed to be the expert on treating it. I must be a poor parent/role model etc. I felt a lot of guilt for a long time despite knowing it wasn’t helpful. It was really difficult to let it go.
Parenting can be a wonderful yet sometimes challenging experience. Some mothers tell me that it turned out to be a lot harder than they expected. A lot of women are afraid to admit they are struggling for fear of being judged as a bad mother (myself included!). I think a lot of us believe we have to parent or live our lives in a set way and feel under a lot of pressure if that way doesn’t work for us. The truth is there is no set way. Each woman’s path is completely unique and the right way to parent and live is the one that suits her and her family. For example, I have felt a lot of pressure to be at home more than I would actually like to be, and yes I have been judged by people with certain values that that is uncaring. And although a part of me worries that that may be true I also know that if I don’t work or have creative outlets outside the home I become very frustrated and then this grumpiness is not good for anyone. Better to be around a little bit less and be bright than a wet mop all the time. Yes I miss my kids when I am away, and they (usually) miss me, but this reminds us how much we love each other. I like to fill up my cup and then come home and spend positive time together. My favourite way to connect with my children is over dinner. It’s a great time to have a good ‘ol laugh and a chat and I make sure I’m home for that at least 5 nights a week. In my work I like to collaborate with women who are feeling stuck to create the right family lifestyle and parenting strategies that work for them. We love our kids and some of us will be earthmothers and some will not be, some of us will always been career women at heart – as long as we live and love with passion and positivity most of the time we will be an amazing role models to our little ones. ~Honor
Happy July!! Its a bit cold and windy intermixed with some beautiful crisp sunny days. I’ve been busy moving house, raising kids, counselling and writing books. The life of a working mum or any mum, is very full it seems. I’ve been working on trying to get my work life balance right, which is no easy task.
Here are some tips I’ve come up with that have worked:
Interesting article about the nature of the mother daughter relationship: