I have written about this before but I feel it is such an important topic I want to write about it again. The gap between doing what society expects us to do versus what is right for us to do with our lives. Think about where you sit for a minute…toeing the socially acceptable line can be unconscious for many years until something is not working any more – it could be experienced as a dull ache of unfufillment or boredom or a more severe depression. It can take a while to unravel where we have stepped off our own path and onto a proscribed one. I believe one of the problems is being taught to listen more to our head than our hearts and emotions when making choices. Also it takes courage to stand up and say -this is what I want when all around you think its nuts. However this is the nature of dreams –they are really personal and unique and a lot of the times other people just won’t ‘get’ it. The wise and caring ones will listen and try to understand and the others will shake their heads and judge. This is another reason we hold ourselves back – the pain of being judged. Yes it hurts. It can hurt a lot. But should we let this hold us back from pursuing our deepest dreams and desires? WE need to believe we are important enough to prioritize our own happiness regardless of what others think. Yes it can be lonely at times but I believe its ok to be lonely at times. It is just another part of being in the rich tapestry of life. I always believe its good to start small also – whats one thing you’ve always wanted to do but have been too afraid? Can you take one tiny step towards this? It will feel terrifying and exhilarating and you’ll feel truly alive.
Category: facing fears
“ Fortune favours the bold” – Latin Proverb
Life challenges. We all have them right? It is part of being human. However, it is so easy and tempting to run away from a challenge rather than deal with it. This is because this avoidance temporarily makes life easier. You don’t have to have that difficult conversation with your mother in law, you don’t need to think about that stressful assignment you need to do, or that scary talk you have to perform. Yes avoiding it makes it go away. But there is a HUGE cost in the long run which is missing out on the growth and freedom that lies on the other side of that discomfort. Women need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable some of the time.
Wouldn’t it be brilliant if we could get into a mindset where we were actively able to face fears every single day? Wouldn’t it be incredible where our life would go? This thought really illuminates how much hiding we all do. Think about all the things we worry about:
What people will think, will they think we are………fill in the blank (crazy, stupid, desperate, dumb, weird, unrespectable etc). We spend soooo much time letting other people control our lives with these worries but at what cost? What are we missing out on with these fears…Following our dreams and passions that’s what!! What if you just said: Who cares!! What I want to do and achieve in my life is actually more important than what anyone thinks. What if you priortizsed what you wanted to do above all else? Your life would be unrecognisably free! Its simple in theory but not so easy in practice as we all want approval. The funny thing is if you do what you need to do for you some people will approve and some won’t. Same as if you try and please everybody. Funny how it is really a no brainer. Yes if you follow your dreams some won’t get it and think you are crazy and you may get rejected and fail at times but you will achieve so much more of what you want and this will make you a happier person.
Love Honor xx
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Because we are conditioned to put everyone else first, struggle to speak up for ourselves, repress our feelings and feel generally unworthy, it can be really difficult to listen to our own feelings dreams and needs. However, unless we have the courage to try new things and reach for our dreams we will always feel stuck. We need to learn how to unlock that passionate energy that we all have so that we can feel truly alive.
Self-awareness is a vital element we need if we want to make a change in ourselves because if we are aware of the way we are then we have to power to adapt. Self-awareness is about being tuned into what is going on within our body, mind and soul. This may take practice if you are not used to it. But that is okay. To be self-aware we need to create space to reflect and tune into ourselves. This can either be done by physically taking time out such as going to a quiet place to think, or by shifting our focus inward for a few moments in the middle of what we are normally doing.
So I want you to dig deep and ask yourself – what is that thing that really gets me feeling alive? What is the thing, or things that get me feeling really excited and perhaps a little bit intimidated? (cos you know often the thing we really want is a little bit scary to go for, excitement and fear often go hand in hand – I think it is because we really CARE about the things we are deeply passionate about). Then once you have found one or more things , can you think of one tiny action step that you can take to move towards that thing?
I help women to trace the roots of where low self- esteem developed to help them separate these events from their true worth which helps them build confidence. I also assist them in dropping their mask so they can be authentic in all situations.
Love Honor xx
P.S If you like this article please share it and stayed tuned for the rest of the article and vids in the series. For ones you may have missed please visit honornewman.com/blog.
P.P.S I hope you have found this helpful and I ‘d love to talk to you further about these things and you’re your feedback on what you thought. Please leave a comment or send me a message with constructive feedback. Alternatively if you’d like me to phone you to chat further please send me your name, phone no and email to: Honor@honornewman.com
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a city girl born and bred.. You know the deal, grew up in Hawthorn, private school and University of Melbourne educated uber privileged lifestyle etc But all this priviledge didn’t stop me from being touched by mental health issues. Hence wanting to be a psychologist. Anyway, you’d think being a city girl I’d have no problem going to work in Collins street. That’s why I cried for half of the trip on their yesterday. After being close to home in the hills for the past 10 years to be there for my children, making this choice has been a huge mental shift for me and massively daunting, especially when I have to build the practice up from scratch. So my trip in yesterday was purely about facing this fear. And I want to be a role model for you because so many women struggle with fears around following their dreams. I want you to look at me and think, if she can do it, so can I… The world needs you to follow your dreams so you can share your gifts with the world
Cold calling. Talk about facing fears. It ranges from one of my pet hates to something that terrifies me stupid. But its one of the best ways to start up a business, a necessary evil. So opening up a new location in Collins street, after being in the Hills for 5 years, has been intimidating to say the least. Because I know I have to do THAT again. Noooo my insides scream at the thought. But I bite the bullet and do it with mixed results. In one sitting I get one no, a few maybes, put onto someones database, plus a date to visit a yoga centre and meet the staff and look around.