Category: Anxiety

Do you avoid things that challenge your comfort zone?

“ Fortune favours the bold” – Latin Proverb

Life challenges. We all have them right? It is part of being human. However, it is so easy and tempting to run away from a challenge rather than deal with it. This is because this avoidance temporarily makes life easier.  You don’t have to have that difficult conversation with your mother in law, you don’t need to think about that stressful assignment you need to do, or that scary talk you have to perform. Yes avoiding it makes it go away. But there is a HUGE cost in the long run which is missing out on the growth and freedom that lies on the other side of that discomfort.   Women need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable some of the time.

Wouldn’t it be brilliant if we could get into a mindset where we were actively able to face fears every single day? Wouldn’t it be incredible where our life would go?  This thought really illuminates how much hiding we all do. Think about all the things we worry about:

What people will think, will they think we are………fill in the blank (crazy, stupid, desperate, dumb, weird, unrespectable etc).  We spend soooo much time letting other people control our lives with these worries but at what cost? What are we missing out on with these fears…Following our dreams and passions that’s what!! What if you just said: Who cares!!  What I want to do and achieve in my life is actually more important than what anyone thinks. What if you priortizsed what you wanted to do above all else? Your life would be unrecognisably free! Its simple in theory but not so easy in practice as we all want approval. The funny thing is if you do what you need to do for you some people will approve and some won’t. Same as if you try and please everybody. Funny how it is really a no brainer. Yes if you follow your dreams some won’t get it and think you are crazy and you may get rejected and fail at times but you will achieve so much more of what you want and this will make you a happier person.

Love Honor xx

If you like this article please share it and stayed tuned for the rest of the article and vids in the series. For ones you may have missed please visit honornewman.com/blog.

The Confident, Calm and Connected Woman

When you enter therapy you might feel miserable, desperate and alone.  There may be a sense of failure that you have to do this. But you are in for a pleasant surprise, because although the journey through won’t be smooth sailing, the benefits you will experience will be incredible. Not only will you feel so much better about everything in your life and within yourself, you will learn so much! And this learning is something you can use to help others for the rest of your life.  You will be able to connect to others in a way that you couldn’t before because of how you have changed and what you have learned.  Instead of being stressed and anxious so much of the time, you will feel at peace with things and confident to take the steps forward and to do the things you want to do in your life.  Also if you see the process through to completion it is unlikely you will need medication such as anti-depressants or Valium.  You’ll be able to live a drug free life which is so much better for your body.

City girls goes back to the city…

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a city girl born and bred.. You know the deal, grew up in Hawthorn, private school and University of Melbourne educated uber privileged lifestyle etc But all this priviledge didn’t stop me from being touched by mental health issues. Hence wanting to be a psychologist. Anyway, you’d think being a city girl I’d have no problem going to work in Collins street. That’s why I cried for half of the trip on their yesterday. After being close to home in the hills for the past 10 years to be there for my children, making this choice has been a huge mental shift for me and massively daunting, especially when I have to build the practice up from scratch. So my trip in yesterday was purely about facing this fear. And I want to be a role model for you because so many women struggle with fears around following their dreams. I want you to look at me and think, if she can do it, so can I… The world needs you to follow your dreams so you can share your gifts with the world

citypsychologist, honor

My fear of cold calling and what I did about it

Cold calling. Talk about facing fears. It ranges from one of my pet hates to something that terrifies me stupid. But its one of the best ways to start up a business, a necessary evil. So opening up a new location in Collins street, after being in the Hills for 5 years, has been intimidating to say the least. Because I know I have to do THAT again. Noooo my insides scream at the thought. But I bite the bullet and do it with mixed results. In one sitting I get one no, a few maybes, put onto someones database, plus a date to visit a yoga centre and meet the staff and look around.

 

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Perfectionism may come part and parcel with high intelligence

As you probably know I’ve been writing blogs on perfectionism for a while now. Last year my daughter who is now 8 years old was having some issues at school and perfectionism was raised as a cause for some of her meltdowns. She has to go and see the school art therapist for a while. During this time I immediately went into failure mode thinking oh I can’t even stop my daughter getting perfectionism when I’m supposed to be the expert on treating it.  I must be a poor parent/role model etc.  I felt a lot of guilt for a long time despite knowing it wasn’t helpful.  It was really difficult to let it go.

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Honor holding book

Why are so many women perfectionists these days?

I had been craving for quite a few years to leave my privileged, fast-paced, inner city lifestyle and make a tree change to the Dandenong ranges. I liked the relaxed hippy vibe and thought it would be a good place to raise kids.  What happened when I actually made the move was that I met a group of women that changed my life forever.  Not in the, “I’ll give you a makeover so good you won’t recognise yourself” kind of way but in a much deeper spiritual way.  Sure I’d dabbled in Buddhism for a few years but these women didn’t teach me about this, they taught me what it really meant to be “feminine”.  And no, it has nothing to do with pink, frills, giggling and hair flicking or letting a man pay and all to do with understanding the beautiful strengths and qualities of the feminine nature.

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I’ve been told I’m still a perfectionist….

After all the output I’ve done around helping others with their perfectionism I have recently been to a therapist to get some help with emotional eating.  Within one session she has told me I am still a perfectionist.  So for the author of Killing the perfectionist within, someone who has helped millions of people with their own perfectionism based on my own journey of beating it, this was a bit of a kick in the guts.

To clarify:

I still push myself too hard and get tired.

I’m still struggling to get the balance right

I still feel not good enough at times

I still feel upset if I’m not the ‘perfect’ body weight.

However there is a difference….

I’m a bit more okay with these things, because I am aware of what I am doing and can intervene with these attitudes andperfectwoman behaviours before they get out of hand.

Maybe I’ll never been able to fully ‘Kill’ the perfectionist within, but i can certainly ‘manage’ it.

(Honor is a psychologist that helps women take the pressure off themselves- to book in for a free consultation click the book now button on her home page.

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