When you enter therapy you might feel miserable, desperate and alone. There may be a sense of failure that you have to do this. But you are in for a pleasant surprise, because although the journey through won’t be smooth sailing, the benefits you will experience will be incredible. Not only will you feel so much better about everything in your life and within yourself, you will learn so much! And this learning is something you can use to help others for the rest of your life. You will be able to connect to others in a way that you couldn’t before because of how you have changed and what you have learned. Instead of being stressed and anxious so much of the time, you will feel at peace with things and confident to take the steps forward and to do the things you want to do in your life. Also if you see the process through to completion it is unlikely you will need medication such as anti-depressants or Valium. You’ll be able to live a drug free life which is so much better for your body.
For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a city girl born and bred.. You know the deal, grew up in Hawthorn, private school and University of Melbourne educated uber privileged lifestyle etc But all this priviledge didn’t stop me from being touched by mental health issues. Hence wanting to be a psychologist. Anyway, you’d think being a city girl I’d have no problem going to work in Collins street. That’s why I cried for half of the trip on their yesterday. After being close to home in the hills for the past 10 years to be there for my children, making this choice has been a huge mental shift for me and massively daunting, especially when I have to build the practice up from scratch. So my trip in yesterday was purely about facing this fear. And I want to be a role model for you because so many women struggle with fears around following their dreams. I want you to look at me and think, if she can do it, so can I… The world needs you to follow your dreams so you can share your gifts with the world
Cold calling. Talk about facing fears. It ranges from one of my pet hates to something that terrifies me stupid. But its one of the best ways to start up a business, a necessary evil. So opening up a new location in Collins street, after being in the Hills for 5 years, has been intimidating to say the least. Because I know I have to do THAT again. Noooo my insides scream at the thought. But I bite the bullet and do it with mixed results. In one sitting I get one no, a few maybes, put onto someones database, plus a date to visit a yoga centre and meet the staff and look around.
As you probably know I’ve been writing blogs on perfectionism for a while now. Last year my daughter who is now 8 years old was having some issues at school and perfectionism was raised as a cause for some of her meltdowns. She has to go and see the school art therapist for a while. During this time I immediately went into failure mode thinking oh I can’t even stop my daughter getting perfectionism when I’m supposed to be the expert on treating it. I must be a poor parent/role model etc. I felt a lot of guilt for a long time despite knowing it wasn’t helpful. It was really difficult to let it go.
Rock bottom is that point where you get so sick of the misery you ask yourself whether it is worth continuing – you want to escape so it’s either end it all or do something drastic –anything at all to feel better.
by Honor Newman
After all the output I’ve done around helping others with their perfectionism I have recently been to a therapist to get some help with emotional eating. Within one session she has told me I am still a perfectionist. So for the author of Killing the perfectionist within, someone who has helped millions of people with their own perfectionism based on my own journey of beating it, this was a bit of a kick in the guts.
I still push myself too hard and get tired.
I’m still struggling to get the balance right
I still feel not good enough at times
I still feel upset if I’m not the ‘perfect’ body weight.
However there is a difference….
Maybe I’ll never been able to fully ‘Kill’ the perfectionist within, but i can certainly ‘manage’ it.
(Honor is a psychologist that helps women take the pressure off themselves- to book in for a free consultation click the book now button on her home page.