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Are you a perfectionist?

Hi all, we are nearly at the end of winter, I can start to smell fresh flowers in the air.  I often feel a little bit re-born when spring comes around as it is a time of new beginnings after the naturally reflective time of winter.

This winter I have been reflecting on what I can offer you in my practice… In this newsletter I often write about the commons themes that are coming up for people in their counselling sessions.   What has been coming up a lot lately is a tendency to be perfectionistic.  This often involves not allowing your-self to make a mistake, having extremely high standards for yourself and feeling anxious and having copious amounts of guilt.   Perfectionism can also cause depression, is a high risk factor for post-natal depression and is something that can be caused by – the way we were parented, our culture and perhaps some traumatic experience you have experienced.  The good news is there is plenty of help available to move past this state.

So I’ll share one tip with you here:  managing guilt:

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Managing the inner perfectionist

So I’m dispensing all this advice on how NOT to be a perfectionist, but how do I myself actually implement these strategies in my own life? Good question. The answer is in many and varied ways. I’ve written some of these into lessons.

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Everybody knows a perfectionist right?

Everybody knows a perfectionist right? He or she is that person that has a lot of pressure on themselves to do everything to an extremely high standard. They can be wonderful but also extremely infuriating to the non-perfectionist. They can be infuriating for a number of reasons. Let me explain:

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Achieving life balance as a mum

Happy July!! Its a bit cold and windy intermixed with some beautiful crisp sunny days.  I’ve been busy moving house, raising kids, counselling and writing books. The life of a working mum or any mum, is very full it seems.  I’ve been working on trying to get my work life balance right, which is no easy task.

Here are some tips I’ve come up with that have worked:

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Creative discipline

I read a ton of parenting books in my spare time so I thought I’d share with you part of a chapter I think is fantastic. It is on creative discipline with children. I think it is relevant from at least 18 months of age. Creative discipline is about teaching kids the right way to behave in a positive manner, rather than will the usual: “no don’t do that” or “Stop that” type of technique. In her book Happy Child, Happy home Lou Harvey-Zahra offers 10 creative discipline techniques. I’ll share three here in a brief format.

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WE ARE LIVING IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING TIMES IN HUMAN HISTORY

ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU ARE LIVING IN ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING TIMES IN HUMAN HISTORY? Just have a look backwards – …

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I adore the feminine..

I adore the feminine… This is why i do this work… Because the feminine is so fun, sexy, erotic, wild, beautiful …