How we often wearing a mask that all is well when it is not

For fear of being judged by others women often put on a mask that says to the world that everything  is going brilliantly when inside they are suffering and sometimes to a serious degree. They are afraid that when people see who they truly are they will reject or abandon them. They also fear judgement, when really they are their own harshest critic. This is a true tragedy as a woman’s biggest strength is her vulnerability. This is how she connects on a deep emotional level with others and where true intimacy can occur.

Wearing these masks can be isolating.  Let me tell you a story about Ms Perfectionism.  Ms Perfectionism lived in this beautiful house that was neat and clean and decorated lovingly. She was always welcoming to her guests and had freshly baked cookies ready and waiting whenever they visited.  Her friends all loved her, as she always had a listening ear for them and was always so well frankly ‘nice’. However sometimes, when Ms Perfectionism had had a friend for a longer period of time for some inexplicable reason to the friend, they would become frustrated with her.  And feel resentful and jealous which felt really out of character for them.  What was happening to these friends was that they were subconsciously reacting to the things going on under the surface with her friend. They were feeling beneath her mask and into her deep insecurities about needing to be liked and accepted and flawless and they were actually finding it frustrating to not be able to get behind these defences. They were also on a level tricked into thinking her life was flawless and finding it hard to be friends with someone without any seeming vulnerability- which is the level that we connect on for intimacy.

You see if you are wearing this perfect mask all the time you can’t let anyone in! Yes it protects you, like a huge wall, it makes you lonely. Self-acceptance is required so you can allow yourself to be flawed, knowing that you are still amazing.

Love Honor xx

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